Punctured Tyre (Coping with anxiety)

When anxiety takes over it can feel like you're driving with a puncture, everything slows down, things take a lot more effort and the fear of not being able to make it consumes you.

I've never had to experience anxiety, only the natural nerves of things like starting a new job or trying something new but since having gastritis and bile malabsoprtion I've been dealing with it more than I ever thought I would.

Everyday tasks as simple as leaving the house would leave me feeling anxious, I worry how i'm going to feel, am I going to feel so sick and blow chunks all over the supermarket floor? If I go out to eat is the pain going to consume me and I cant just simply leave and go home? It's a constant battle with fear and your own mind just to try and simply enjoy life.

It got so bad at one point It was making me sicker than I already was, It gave me constant throbbing headaches, loud ringing in my ears and constant nausea and it really did keep me at home and I wouldn't leave.

So how do I get through it? well... it's not easy! It's a lot of talking to myself, telling myself everything is OK and will power, the first thing that helped me was a drug called amitriptyline, It is used for managing chronic pain but it is also an anti-depressant and it helped me get some sleep, after a few days of using it I was starting to feel better, the nausea, ringing in ears and headaches all slowed down and that was when I knew it was me that was making myself so poorly, if I wasn't so stressed and anxious I wouldn't have been feeling so dreadful, of course the stomach pains persisted but that was one problem rather than 4 or 5.

I had to start taking small trips to near by places, places I knew I could leave quickly if I needed to or places I felt comfortable, I started to associate these as my 'safe places' and I knew I could go out to these places and i'd be OK. These were places like my boyfriends house, a friends house and coffee shops that are only a 10-15 minute drive, and It felt good to be able to go out for a little bit. From there I have been trying to expand my safe places and do more activities, It's still a battle in my mind, I have to tell myself "just go, just do it, its going to be OK" and it is OK, it almost always is OK, there have been times I've been to the shops and had to quickly pay for the items I already had and leave as quickly as I could because nausea would take over but that's OK I tried.

As I am starting to feel better, the anxiety is easing and I am finding myself doing more and more but never without having to have a talk with myself beforehand. My anxiety is already rearing it's head today as I am going to do a few hours at work, the first time I've been to work in 8 months and it's a scary thought knowing that I can't just leave if I need to, I will be having that talk with myself before I leave and probably a few times while I am there but once I have done it, I will know that I was OK, and I can do that again.

For anyone suffering with anxiety, take baby steps, start with something just a tiny bit out of your comfort zone and build up from there.